Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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