I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
