Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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