no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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