No, you can still breathe under the balls.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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