I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
