I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
