Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
