You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
