we're blogging at a bar
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
