Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
