I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
