dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
what day is it and did you see me today?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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