How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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