I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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