We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Sober January is a disaster.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize