I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
