It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
