dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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