Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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