ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
