Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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