what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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