youre lurking in front of me
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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