Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My dick has a subreddit
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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