Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
