He is an equal opportunity slut.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize