i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
