If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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