I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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