the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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