I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
foreskin is a definite game changer
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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