You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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