guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
