WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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