ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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