I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
