I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
