why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
