Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
