hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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