Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
