you turned your livingroom into a bong?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
