my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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