Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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