I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
