So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
