he shaved USA in his pubs
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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