you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I will be naked everywhere
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
