Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
