would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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