You made me cry and you don't even care
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
