You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
