A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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