can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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