i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm at about main and main street
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
