I just made out with a guy for $7.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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