Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
