I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize