Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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