is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize