But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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