somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
