i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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