he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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